“Thou hast made us for Thyself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in Thee.”
Augustine, Confessions

My search for truth had already taken me farther than I ever expected. A classmate had introduced me to a woman many simply called Divine Mother. My father had also begun meeting with her and spoke of her with great respect. The changes I saw in him were real. He seemed calmer, more peaceful, and more purposeful than before. I couldn’t explain it, but I couldn’t ignore it either. Curiosity eventually overcame my skepticism. One afternoon, I drove to her home for what would become my first meditation meeting.

She was a petite Japanese woman with short gray hair and a gentle smile. She dressed simply and lived in the same modest house she had occupied for most of her life. There were no signs of wealth or grandeur. Nothing suggested she was the leader of a growing spiritual movement.

When I arrived, she was speaking privately with one of her followers, so I waited quietly in the small kitchen. A pot of stew still simmered gently on the stove, as though lunch had only recently ended. The rice cooker sat open on the counter beside it. The room felt warm and ordinary, like the home of any elderly Japanese woman. There was nothing mystical about it. If anything, its simplicity made her seem more believable.

Eventually someone motioned for me to enter the living room. Several people were already seated on the floor. We formed a circle around her as she sat cross-legged on a cushion, dressed entirely in white. She slowly looked around the room before quietly saying, “Om…”

The room answered together.

“Om…”

The sound lingered for several moments before fading into silence.

Then she softly said, “Just meditate.”

That was all.

I closed my eyes. Or at least I tried. I wasn’t sure what meditation was supposed to feel like. I attempted to empty my mind of every thought, every emotion, every distraction. Whenever a thought entered my mind, I tried to push it away. For brief moments I thought I had succeeded, only to realize I was thinking about not thinking. Sometimes my mind wandered. Sometimes I became restless. More than once, I quietly drifted off to sleep. The entire experience left me confused. How do you think about nothing? How do you intentionally empty your mind without making that your next thought? I assumed everyone else understood something I didn’t. Perhaps I simply needed more practice.

After what felt like an eternity of silence, her voice gently interrupted the stillness.

“Om…”

Once again, everyone joined together. Only then did she begin to speak. Her voice was soft and deliberate.

“God created us in His image,” she said.

She paused, smiled gently, and continued.

“So God is like me.”

The words caught me completely off guard. I instinctively looked around the room, expecting someone to object. No one did. No one appeared surprised. No one even looked uncomfortable.

She referred to herself as Divine Mother and claimed to be the incarnation of a revered spiritual prophet who had died nearly a century earlier. Everyone listened as though what she had said was perfectly natural. Oddly enough… I didn’t leave. Looking back, I’ve often asked myself why. Her statement should have sent me walking out the front door. Instead, I found myself wanting to hear more.

Part of the answer was my father. The changes I had witnessed in his life were undeniable. If this woman had somehow transformed him, I owed it to myself to understand why. But there was something else. She possessed a quiet confidence I had never encountered before. She wasn’t trying to impress anyone. She wasn’t loud or dramatic. She seemed completely at peace. She spoke about God, not as someone repeating ideas she had learned, but as someone utterly convinced she knew Him.

By then I had spent years searching. Science had answered many of my intellectual questions, but it had never answered the questions that mattered most. My brief encounters with Christianity had left me unconvinced. Academic success had brought achievement, but not peace. I wasn’t searching for another philosophy. I was searching for God.

For the first time, I wondered if I had met someone who truly knew Him. I wasn’t ready to believe everything she said. But I was no longer willing to dismiss her. As I walked back to my car that afternoon, my mind replayed everything I had heard. I still didn’t know what to believe. But one question refused to leave me.

Had I finally met someone who truly knew God?

I decided to come back.

You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29:13 (ESV)

Looking back, I can see that my search was sincere, even though it often led me down unexpected paths. God was patiently leading me, one step at a time, even when I didn’t recognize His hand. My search was far from over.

Love and trust the Lord; seek His will in your life.

#faith #trustinggod #christianity #jesuschrist #bible #seekinggodswill #truth #sanctification #godisincontrol #godhearsourprayers #salvation #providenceofGod #meditation #thesearchfortruth #Jeremiah29:13

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