A few years ago, a high school friend from Hawaii visited our family at our home in Southern California. He brought his wife and two teen-aged children. I had not seen them for at least 10 years so I was quite happy for the reunion. As we exchanged the usual pleasantries, our conversation drifted to high school reminiscences of mutual friends. One particular person was a sore spot for me. He never missed an opportunity to put me down. I still carried bitter memories and within a few minutes, I was a teen ager reliving the same worn out episodes. My friend politely laughed but his wife excused herself and slinking off to the sofa. I should have picked up on the body language but I was determined to state my case and prove that I was right and our friend was wrong. The evening ended on a mixed note and my expectation that I would see them again, any time soon, evaporated.
The next morning, I emailed my friend. I was chagrined and wrote, “Sorry that the conversation degenerated into a rant. I wish I could have been more uplifting to you and your wife.”
He was polite and wrote, “Don’t worry about it. My wife understands.”
Perhaps, but I was chastened. I reverted back to my childhood, harping on distant memories and relationships that no longer mattered. I could not let it go.
Like a dog that returns to his vomit is a fool who repeats his folly.
Proverbs 26:11 (ESV)
I am a fool. Given an opportunity to move beyond my past, I reverted to my old habits and let pride and resentment take over. The event reminded me how desperately I need Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I continually see the struggle between my old nature and the new nature I received when the Holy Spirit entered into me. The process of sanctification continues and in spite of unpleasant reminders of my old nature, I am confident that God is transforming me into the image of His Son, Jesus Christ. But it will take a lifetime.
Thanks be to God that He is always uplifting me even when I do not honor Him.
Love and trust the Lord; seek His will in your life.