Warren Wiersbe, a longtime pastor, Bible teacher, and author best known for his Be series of Bible commentaries, asked a question that caught my attention:

“Have you ever, like Job, wished for God’s judgment even on yourself? If so, when?”

I had to stop and think about that. I have asked God to defend me. I have wanted Him to expose an injustice, correct someone wrong, or vindicate me when I felt misunderstood. I suspect most of us have prayed something similar. But have I ever said, “God, if I am the wrong one, show me. If I am guilty, hold me accountable.”? I am not sure how often I have dared to do that.

After Job lost his children, his wealth, his health, and his reputation, his friends were convinced that he must have committed some terrible hidden sin. Why else would God allow him to suffer so severely? Job repeatedly denied their accusations. Then, in Job 31, he placed his life before God and invited Him to examine it.

Let me be weighed in a just balance, and let God know my integrity!
Job 31:6 (ESV)

Job went through his life almost as if he were testifying under oath. He spoke about honesty, sexual purity, the treatment of his servants, compassion for the poor, the influence of wealth, and his conduct toward his enemies. He even addressed sins that could have remained hidden from everyone else. If he had done these things, he was willing to accept the consequences.

As I read through Job’s list, Wiersbe’s question became increasingly uncomfortable. When someone disappoints me, I can usually explain what that person did wrong. I remember the words that were spoken and the actions that seemed unfair. I can organize the evidence and make a convincing case—at least in my own mind.

Examining my own response requires more honesty. Perhaps pride influenced what I said. Perhaps I was more interested in being proven right than in understanding the other person. Even when I remained silent, my silence may not have come from grace. It may have been resentment expressed without words.

Job was willing to say, “Let me be weighed in a just balance.” Those words make me wonder what God would find if He examined my motives as carefully as I examine the behavior of others. He sees the thoughts I never express, the pride that can hide beneath a good deed, and the private compromises that no one else knows about. Job was confident that the particular charges made by his friends were false. Yet he never claimed to be completely without sin. When God eventually revealed Himself, Job responded:

Therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes.
Job 42:6 (ESV)

Job had wanted an opportunity to present his case. His encounter with God gave him a clearer understanding of both God and himself. I know that I cannot stand before God and establish my own innocence. My confidence rests in Jesus Christ, who bore the judgment my sins deserve.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
Romans 8:1 (ESV)

That promise gives me the freedom to be honest before God. I do not have to conceal my sin, justify it, or pretend it is insignificant. I can confess it and ask God to change what He reveals in me. Integrity does not require me to pretend that nothing is wrong. It requires me to be truthful about what is there.

Wiersbe’s question has stayed with me. I still want God to defend me when I have been wronged, and there is nothing improper about seeking His justice. Job 31 reminds me to leave room for God to examine my heart as well.

Before I ask, “God, will You deal with them?” perhaps I should first say:

“God, examine me.”

Love and trust the Lord; seek His will in your life.

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