We Know Too Much (Exodus 16:18)

My colleague texted me apologizing for not being able to cover that day but she needed to deal with a personal issue. I thanked her for the notification but did not hear from her until she texted me that she would be able to come in on her usual day. Today was the first time I had seen my colleague in two weeks. 

“Hey, how are you doing?”

I was alarmed. She was not her usual cheery self. “Not good. My mother was having difficulty breathing so we immediately took her to the emergency room. The radiological studies showed multiple lesions in her lungs and the differential diagnosis was cancer, cancer, and cancer.”

I was stunned. Although I had never met her mother, my colleague described her as a lively and strong woman who loved life, imparting these same characteristics to her daughter. She shared with me that a follow-up biopsy confirmed that her mother was diagnosed with metastatic lung cancer.

“We will be enrolling her in a protocol with a growth inhibitor therapy.”

It would not be an easy road for any of them, whether she took the therapy or not.

“Are you going to tell her about all the risks?”

“No. She has already researched her disease and she knows her prognosis is grim, even with treatment. She wants to fight it. My colleague paused and firmly stated, “She said she will live to be a hundred.”

I understood as we both forced a smile. “That is so encouraging. I hope the treatment works. We just have to stay positive.” I looked at my colleague and sighed. “We know too much.”

She closed her eyes which were brimming with tears and nodded. 

My colleague and I knew of the poor prognosis for her mother given the advanced state of her cancer. Even if her cancer initially responded to the treatment, her chance of surviving five years was unlikely. There were issues of drug resistance and the many side effects that would diminish the quality of her life. Our minds were fretting over these possibilities as our hearts were breaking. We were hoping to find some medical solution, a reasonable course of action, but we both knew too much. 

O LORD my God, you have performed many wonders for us. Your plans for us are too numerous to list. You have no equal. If I tried to recite all your wonderful deeds, I would never come to the end of them. 

Psalms 40:5 (NLT)

But when they measured it out, everyone had just enough. Those who gathered a lot had nothing left over, and those who gathered only a little had enough. Each family had just what it needed. 

Exodus 16:18 (NLT)

God is sovereign. He is all-knowing. Like providing manna in the wilderness as the Israelites wandered for forty years, by His grace and mercy, God gives us exactly what we need. He knows all of the knowledge and wisdom of the world, more than we can ever comprehend or understand. Evangelist Ravi Zacharias wrote, “God has put enough into this world to make faith in Him a most reasonable thing. But He has left enough out to make it impossible to live by sheer reason alone.”

It is a difficult time for my colleague and her mother. We both knew too much. This is when God asks us to trust Him. Through faith in Jesus Christ, we can accept the information He gives us. We utilize the information, not to find reasons to trust in our intellect but to draw us closer to Him.

Love and trust in the Lord; seek His will in your life.