My workload was bearing down on me with numerous complicated cases and interpersonal issues within my residency programs. A close relative was just diagnosed with a debilitating disease requiring chronic care. A dear friend’s father just passed away from COVID19. I was desperately attempting to stay in shape to keep myself healthy to weather these personal storms, but I was losing the battle. As I did my usual exercise routine on this particular morning, I stopped after only a few minutes, exhausted by the mounting pressures. “I can’t do this!” I cried out.
If I ever had a problem hearing God speak to me, it was never clearer at that moment. He definitively answered my plaintive cry, “Now will you let Me do it?” Why am I so stubborn to rely upon my strength and only come to God when I have exhausted my physical, mental, and spiritual reserves? It is my sinful pride that convinces me that God is my last resort in life rather than my first choice.
Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Psalms 73:25-26 (ESV)
A frequent prayer of mine on behalf of others is that God will have mercy on those who are so resistant to God’s leading. I pray that it will not take a serious illness or financial loss to awaken them to their need for Savior. I should spend more time looking in the mirror. When will I allow God to do things His way? What will it take to get my attention? A worldwide pandemic? Anarchy and wanton destruction in our cities? A complete breakdown of my bodily systems overwhelmed by stress?
Everyone has a different breaking point and we should never be forced to reach it. If I stop for just a moment, I would always be able to hear the firm and tender voice of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, speaking to me.
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30 (ESV)
Yes Lord. Please take my burdens and do it for me.
Love and trust the Lord; seek His will in your life.