“You have a lot of anger!”
My wife’s declaration to me stopped me cold. We were eating dinner and I was recounting the events of the day. I was grousing about the inefficiencies and inherent contradictions of a recent law that was passed and my irritation fueled a fit of anger. Within a few minutes, what started as routine banter over the dinner table escalated to hostility.
My wife’s statement brought to light the stark realization that when I speak to my wife, I have no filters. I speak my mind and this often leads to conflict between us. To the rest of the world, I am careful to choose my words and the topics of my conversations. In this social media-driven environment, propelled by woke pundits and the politically correct police, there is scarcely a topic that one may discuss that will not inevitably lead to some form of public or private shaming. It is paralyzing. Thus, when I am alone with my wife, I treasure the ability and freedom to speak my mind.
And this is not fair to her.
I unload the pent-up frustrations that I have been forced to keep submerged, all under the noble and loving banner of open communication with one’s spouse. Instead of promoting closeness and understanding, it serves to foment strife and separation. Is there a better way?
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
(Philippians 4:8 ESV)
Within the privacy and safety of the time I communicate with my wife, my helpmate and my best friend, I need to be mindful that I cannot speak without filters. God very clearly provides the true filters of how I should speak or think. This is God’s purpose, whether I speak to a stranger and especially when I speak to my wife.
Love and trust the Lord; seek His will in your life.