When One Isn’t Simple (Matthew 3:16–17)

I was sitting there with my wife… listening. At least I think I was. She was talking about something that mattered to her. Nothing dramatic. Just one of those conversations that fill up a normal day—plans, thoughts, something she had been carrying. And I caught myself drifting. Not outwardly. I was still nodding, still responding. If you watched us, it would’ve looked fine. But internally… it wasn’t. Part of me was there. Part of me was already trying to figure things out—where this was going, what needed to be done, how to fix whatever might come next.

And then there was this other part. Just… watching. Not saying anything. Not stepping in. Just aware enough to know I wasn’t really present. That I could be more present. That I should be. I don’t usually stop and think about that kind of thing. But it stayed with me.

How can I be in the same moment… and not really be in it? How can I be listening… and not listening? It’s still me. But it doesn’t feel simple. I don’t even know why I thought of this…but I did. Jesus—standing in the water. Before anything really started. No miracles yet. No crowds. No teaching. Just… there. And then—the Spirit descends. The Father speaks.

When Jesus was baptized, immediately He went up from the water, and behold, the heavens were opened to Him, and He saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and coming to rest on Him; and behold, a voice from heaven said, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.”
Matthew 3:16-16 (ESV)

I’ve read that before. A lot of times. But I wasn’t trying to study it this time. I was just… sitting with it. If He was fully God…why didn’t He just live like it? I mean—why wait? Why stand there like that? Why receive anything? I don’t think it was because something was missing. That doesn’t make sense. It felt more like…something was beginning. The Spirit comes down. Not for the first time ever—but in a way you can see. The Father speaks. Not quietly—out loud. There’s no confusion in it. But I can’t really explain it either. Three. But not separate. I don’t know…it doesn’t fall into place neatly.

And I started thinking about earlier. Sitting there with my wife. Trying to manage everything in my head. Trying to stay ahead of it. Trying to carry it. I was there. But I wasn’t receiving anything. Not really listening. Not slowing down. Definitely not depending. And that’s what keeps sticking with me. Jesus didn’t start His ministry by taking control. He didn’t prove anything. He didn’t push forward. He stood there…and received.

I don’t do that very well. Even in small things. Especially in small things. A conversation. A moment I could just be present. Instead, I’m already somewhere else—trying to hold it all together. I’ve tried to understand the Trinity before. I still don’t. Not really. But this didn’t feel like something to figure out. It felt like something I was watching. And maybe that’s enough for now.

I think I know what I tend to depend on. And it’s usually… me. Trying to think faster. Do more. Stay ahead. Carry what feels like it’s mine. But maybe it isn’t. Maybe I don’t need to understand everything. Maybe I just need to stop trying to carry it like I do. 

I’m still sitting with that.

Love and trust in the Lord; seek His will in your life.

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