I had been listening to a conversation between a church leader and one of our college-aged members when the subject turned to dating and choosing a future spouse.

“And you always have to be careful to pick a partner who is spiritually mature and truly loves the Lord.”

“Absolutely!”

“Sometimes, we make excuses for the other person, hoping they will grow in faith and eventually become a good spiritual partner.”

“Got it. I don’t flirt to convert!”

There was humor in the comment, but there was also wisdom. Love has a way of seeing possibilities. We can become captivated by who someone might become rather than honestly seeing who they are today. We convince ourselves that things will eventually change, that spiritual maturity will come later, or that marriage itself will somehow draw a person closer to God.

Certainly, God changes hearts. Every believer is a testimony to His transforming grace. But hope is not the same thing as wisdom. The prophet Amos asked a simple question:

Do two walk together, unless they have agreed to meet?
Amos 3:3 (ESV)

Although the immediate context concerns God’s relationship with Israel, the principle is timeless. Two people cannot journey together for very long if they are headed in different directions.

Marriage is difficult enough when both husband and wife are seeking the Lord. It becomes far more difficult when one is pursuing Christ and the other is pursuing something else. A relationship cannot thrive indefinitely on potential. Character matters. Direction matters. Faith matters. As one old pastor put it, “Marry someone you can pray with, because someday that may be all you can do.”

And while we should never underestimate God’s ability to transform a life, neither should we presume upon it. Entering a relationship with the expectation that we will eventually change the other person places a burden upon us that belongs to God alone. Perhaps that is why Scripture repeatedly emphasizes wisdom over wishful thinking.

For those who are single, this means paying attention not merely to attraction, chemistry, or promises, but to the trajectory of a person’s life. Where are they headed? What do they love? What are they pursuing? What occupies their heart?

And for those who are married, this principle becomes an invitation rather than a warning. Continue walking together. Encourage one another. Pray together. Seek the Lord together. Spiritual intimacy, like physical intimacy, grows when two people intentionally move in the same direction. After all, the goal of marriage is not simply finding someone to spend life with. It is finding someone with whom you can walk toward Christ.

Love and trust in the Lord; seek His will in your life.

#faith #trustinggod #christianity #jesuschrist #bible #seekinggodswill #truth #sanctification #godisincontrol #godhearsourprayers #salvation #providenceofGod #flirttoconvert #Amos3:3

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