It was 420 AM and I crept downstairs to begin my usual exercise routine on my elliptical. It was the same weekday activity I had done for the previous 6 years, but there was something different that morning. I stopped and listened. No! It can’t be! I re-focused my thoughts on what I was hearing. It was true! Nothing! There was no ringing in my years. For the first time since it began, the ringing in my ears was gone.

I had been suffering from tinnitus, or ringing in my years, for over 5 years. There is an association with my hearing loss associated with age, otherwise known as presbycusis and tinnitus. My hearing loss was documented by several audiology exams. It was bad enough for me to strain to hear others in crowded rooms and I had taken to reading subtitles in programs I watched. However, it was not yet severe enough to justify a hearing aid. There was also abundant medical literature support to suggest that it may be causing my tinnitus. Over the last year, my tinnitus worsened, affecting my sleep and my work. I had another audiology examination which again confirmed a slight decrease in hearing. I decided to see a colleague, an ENT surgeon, and seek his opinion.

After examining me and reviewing the results of the audiology examinations, he asked me to join him in his office. His diagnosis caught me off guard. “You know there is no test to prove you have tinnitus. I can only take your word for it, and I believe you. Now, you do have hearing loss and that could be causing it, however, the severity of your tinnitus is far worse than the degree of your hearing loss would suggest.”

“So what’s causing my tinnitus?”

He looked at me, paused for a second, then said, “Tinnitus is not an ear problem. It is a brain problem. You have hearing loss and your brain gets confused when it thinks it should hear something but cannot hear it clearly. Thus, its signals get scrambled and it creates this interference pattern, sort of like static. Tinnitus is the result. In my experience, severe tinnitus like yours is driven by stress and anxiety.” He leaned forward. “Do have stress?”

I smiled. “Uh, sure I do. Come on. We’re both physicians.”

He nodded. “So do you have physician burnout?”

I chuckled. “Maybe. I haven’t been able to sleep well in years. My workload is oppressive. I am being pulled in so many different directions. You know, just being a physician.”

He pulled out a sheet of paper and began writing. “All of these recommendations to treat tinnitus are found on our society website. It sounds like you are doing most of these like exercise and cutting out caffeine. I think you need to seek psychiatric help for your stress. Would you like me to write you a prescription for Xanax?”

I was stunned. “That is very nice of you to write me a prescription for Xanax but if you think I really need to see a psychiatrist, then I will let the psychiatrist decide on the medication.”

“Fair enough. Let me know if I can help you in any other way. Good luck.”

After several days and many phone calls and emails, I found a psychiatrist and was able to get an in-person appointment with him. When we met, we made an instant connection. Aware that I was a physician, we had a very personal and academic discussion of my tinnitus and my anxiety. At the end of the appointment, he agreed that he needed to treat my anxiety and tinnitus. We discussed several medications and together, decided upon one that the medical literature showed success in treating both anxiety and tinnitus. Taking the medication that first night, I still had problems sleeping. However, when I awoke in the morning, I noticed the tinnitus, while present, was at a much lower frequency. During the day, I also noticed my anxiety was diminished. I was dismissive. Could just be the placebo effect, I reasoned. It was the next day when I awakened, and the tinnitus was gone. 

It was as if a weight was lifted off me. For the first time in years, my anxiety was greatly diminished, and just as importantly, so was the tinnitus. After three days, a pattern emerged. I would awaken with no tinnitus and then it would gradually return through the day until it peaked just before I went to bed and I took another dose of the medication. The tinnitus was usually a high-pitched hiss. Now, it was low-pitched and barely noticeable, even during quiet moments. When the tinnitus returned, my levels of anxiety also increased. The tinnitus was an early warning signal. It was like the aura warning migraine patients that the migraine was about to start.

Instantly something like scales fell from Saul’s eyes, and he regained his sight. Then he got up and was baptized. 

Acts 9:18 (NLT)

I have often wondered what Saul experienced when “something like scales fell from (his) eyes.” Whatever the sensation, I felt a similar intense revelation when my tinnitus was diminished. My treatment is still ongoing and I am not cured of my tinnitus. I needed to first recognize that the true problem was my anxiety which was driving the tinnitus. I am thankful to God for the complicated pathway that He led me through to receive the proper diagnosis and treatment.

The scales have fallen from my eyes and I continue to seek the balance that only God can provide.

Amen.

Love and trust in the Lord; seek His will in your life.