“When I read your blogs, I think that you are someone who has it all together.”
My friend and fellow brother in Jesus Christ was being honest and transparent with me. He is someone who not only receives my daily email blogs but is also a close personal friend.
“But then I know you, and you struggle like everyone else, maybe even more so.”
His words stung because they were spot on. “You are right,” I replied. “ I have never ever stated in my blogs that I am a saint and have all the answers. I struggle with my faith, probably more than most of the people who are reading these blogs. I don’t have it all together.”
From its inception, my intention with my blogs was to show how a relationship with Jesus Christ and understanding the Bible is relevant for every action in life, even for the seemingly mundane tasks that we all undertake. I didn’t have the answers but wanted to show how God can instruct and guide me through life’s sometimes tortuous decisions. For years, I wrestled with the idea of sharing my struggles, afraid of the backlash from seekers and believers alike. Indeed, I have received criticism from all groups. Yet, during these times of criticism, I always found comfort and inspiration from two characters in the Bible whom I most admire, King David and the Apostle Paul.
King David was the most successful King of Israel. Yet in spite of his numerous military and political successes and prodigious gifts of musicianship and poetry writing, he still succumbed to his sins. The Bible is brutally honest and lays bare his egregious sins for all eternity. In this passage, David had committed an act of adultery with Bathsheba and commanded that her husband, Uriah the Hittite, one of the commanders of his own army, be murdered to cover up his heinous crime. When confronted with his sins, David came before God in contrition and wrote these words in Psalms 51. King David had every spiritual and material blessing but still fell many times because of his sins. Yet, each time, he came before God in humility and confessed and repented of his sins, recognizing that it was only God who could make things right and redeem him. Did his sins diminish the power and emotion of his words?
Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment.
Psalms 51:4 (ESV)
The Apostle Paul, one of the greatest missionaries and defender of the Christian faith, explodes in anguish with this plaintive cry that he wrote in his letter to the Roman church. How could Paul, perhaps one of the most brilliant and learned men of the world at that time, who wrote so many inspired books in the Bible, believe that he was such a wretched sinner? Did his confession diminish the meaning and beauty of his words?
Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?
Romans 7:24 (ESV)
Both men were blessed with so many God-given gifts, and yet, they each fell victim to sin many times. This does not excuse my sinful and prideful behaviors but It does show me that even for these two giants of faith in the Bible, they were vulnerable to the same sins with which I struggle. I don’t have it all together. This is why I write these blogs, to show that the only hope I have is to come before my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and beg for His mercy, grace, and forgiveness for my sins. Slowly but surely, He is conforming and transforming me into His image. Someday, in His presence in Heaven, I will know the full glory of His sanctification in my life. Until then, He continues to bring me to my knees, acknowledging the wretched state that my sins continue to inflict upon my soul.
Love and trust the Lord; seek His will in your life.