“It Wasn’t My Fault!” (Psalms 51:3-4 )

The debonair young man sat in front of me, resplendent in a designer suit, his brown hair neatly combed, slicked with mousse. He was unlike most dermatology residency applicants who usually were at the top academic ranking of their medical school class. Although his evaluations in his dermatology rotations were excellent, his overall record was checkered at best. However, our residency admissions committee wanted to give him the benefit of doubt and earnestly desired to hear his story and explanation.

 

“Tell me about what happened with the first time you took your national board examinations after your second year in medical school.”

 

“I failed the first part of my national board examinations because of a family crisis, my mother was sick. I had to take a red-eye flight from my home and I took the exam that morning. I was sleep-deprived.”

 

I nodded. “And what about the second time?”

 

“I was sick.”

 

He had an answer for everything, I sighed. I continued with the interview. “Your evaluation in OB-GYN was not very flattering. What happened there?”

 

He shook his head. “The professor who was my main preceptor took a leave of absence half-way through the rotation. I was doing well but the attending who took over did not know me and we did not get off to a good start. It wasn’t my fault!”

 

I listened in disbelief at his explanations. For every major failure that was highlighted on his application, he refused to take ownership that he may have been at fault. It was always someone else or circumstances beyond his control. In spite of his glowing recommendations in dermatology, he was immature and arrogant. The admissions committee ultimately rejected him.

 

For I recognize my rebellion; it haunts me day and night. Against you, and you alone, have I sinned; I have done what is evil in your sight. You will be proved right in what you say, and your judgment against me is just.

Psalms 51:3-4 (NLT)

 

For years, I was like this applicant. I refused to take ownership of my own sins, my own faults, and failures. I would blame others, blame the circumstances, but never blame myself. Only when I was humbled and brought to my knees, willing to face up to my own sins, my shortcomings, and take responsibility for my actions, could my life change. But a complete change could not come by my own efforts, I needed a supernatural intervention. Only by confessing and repenting of my sins and accepting Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior would I be able to recognize that I was sinning against God and only to Him did I need to ask forgiveness. 

 

“It wasn’t my fault!” 

 

It never was until Jesus Christ changed my heart.

 

Love and trust the Lord; seek His will in your life.

 

 

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