It was already 5 PM and the growing shadows alerted me to the setting sun. I was late and I frantically searched for any clue that would lead me in the right direction to return home. Without my smartphone or access to a GPS device, I was relying upon my memory and it had been years since I had visited this part of the city, which was vaguely familiar, yet still alien. I was further handicapped by my mode of transportation. I was on a skateboard! The last time I was on a skateboard was when I was a teenager. Why was I using one now to help me escape this dire situation?
It is my recurring dream which I have had for the past year, sometimes recurring several times on the same night. All the dreams begin the same way and I am clueless how I end up in each location. All I know is I have to get home! My mode of transportation varies from a skateboard, bicycle, to running. In the end, I never make it home and always awake when I am hopelessly lost.
I have pondered the meaning of my dream. All my modes of transportation are powered by my own efforts. I am lost seeking a way home but unable to reach it. I am alone. Why can’t I have a happy ending instead of always awakening in a forlorn state? Why doesn’t God appear and firmly take hold of my hand and lead me to safety? The symbolism and metaphors abound. A psychoanalyst would be drooling to render an interpretation but with God’s insight, I think I know the answer.
Over this last year, I have lost my spiritual way, feeling spiritually dry and empty. The dreams are a reminder of what my life was like before I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I was always in so many desperate situations but did not know how I arrived there. I was seeking a quick escape. I was searching for peace and comfort through my own efforts. I was seeking a place to call home where all fears were gone.
I was lost.
For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come.
Hebrews 13:14 (ESV)
The dreams remind me of my former life before Jesus Christ but also remind me that in spite of the trials and tribulations I face, I do not have to fall back upon my old lifestyle and retreat back to this old and lost world. There is no hope nor are there answers waiting there for me. There is no lasting city for me in this world. I have to get home, my true home. I need to return to Jesus Christ, my first Love and my spiritual rest.
Thank you, Lord Jesus, for always reminding me that you have already brought me home, not by my own efforts, but only by your grace and mercy through faith in Your Name.
Love and trust the Lord; seek His will in your life.