“I Didn’t Know!” (Job 40:2)

Several years ago, my former partners and I were invited to one of our hospital’s annual physician’s Christmas party held at one of the most prestigious private clubs in Los Angeles. We were giddy with excitement since none of us ever imagined we would ever be invited to such an esteemed setting. Frankly, I was mystified how this hospital could even afford such a gala event. This was during a challenging time that many hospitals in Southern California were teetering on financial insolvency. Yet, our hospital had not experienced the budget cuts and layoffs that were increasingly commonplace in the healthcare industry.


It was a black-tie affair, an appropriate attire for a club that was even more magnificent than I could have imagined. My wife and I dined on amazing food and danced to a full jazz orchestra. At the end of the evening, all of my partners were in agreement that this was one of the most memorable events they had ever attended.


The next week, I was dining in the doctor’s dining room in the hospital and joined the chief of staff for our lunch.


“How did you like the party?”


“Amazing! Simply amazing!” I beamed. I thought this might be an ideal opportunity to address my bewilderment. “Wow!” I began.”How can this hospital afford such a party?”


Barely looking up from his meal, the chief of staff mumbled, “Well, of course, Smitty pays for it.”


“What?” I wasn’t sure if he was referring to the billionaire investor. “You mean Jake Smitty?”




I was dumbfounded. “I didn’t know!”


The chief of staff laughed as he sat back in his chair and proclaimed, “How do you think this hospital survives when all of the other hospitals are closing?”


With that revelation, I now understood how all the glorious benefits of this hospital were the result of a single benevolent and generous benefactor.


“Do you still want to argue with the Almighty? You are God’s critic, but do you have the answers?”

Job 40:2 (NLT)


For years, I was an atheist, firm in my belief that God was a myth. I knew better, I always did. I was convinced that science could explain all natural phenomena. Like the revelation to me of the generous benefactor for this hospital, I never thought there was an intelligent and benevolent Being behind all of creation and my existence.


No, I didn’t know, and I do not have the answers. Only God has all the answers and I needed to learn it was time to stop denying Him and come to Him in humility and faith to understand who I am and why He created me. He rescued me from my atheism and drew me into a deep and intimate understanding of who He was, by bringing me into a personal relationship with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.


Thanks be to God for His grace and mercy in my life!


Love and trust the Lord; seek His will in your life.


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